Finding inner peace
All of a sudden I got sucked into this black void. This sounds scary, but was the exact opposite. It felt being carried, secure and safe. And an inner peace came upon me being presence itself in that place of total stillness, full awareness. I wanted to stay there forever, but also realised that I was both in the room with my teacher and in that powerfull place at the same time. My teacher stopped talking to me, because she knew I was somewhere else, even though I didn’t tell her that. I stayed in that place for a few minutes. Finally I took a few deep breaths and slowly came back to the room where I had one of my deep spiritual sessions with Neriyah, my teacher.
How different did I feel two years earlier, when I moved into my appartment after my divorce. At that time I tried to ease my mind with marijuhana and alchohol. Of course that didn’t help me in my efforts to start living my authentic life, the one thing I was craving for. All my life I tried to find my peace outside myself, but none of that truly made me happy and fulfilled inside. Even the 10years plan I made directly after my divorce, which suddenly showed me that I can be financial independent in 10 years, didn’t give me the deep fulfillment I was looking for. The 10 years plan did however help me to gain the confidence to get out of the negativity I was experiencing at that time.
In my search for deep fullfilment I bumped into the several courses on the internet. The philosophy and mission of the Center for Selforientation immediatley appealed to me. The Center’s philosophy is to first focus on ‘being’ rather than ‘having’, believing that every person on this earth wants to bring unique value to this world, and is able to do so. But this can only be achieved if and when you are truly yourself and if and when you start expressing who you really are. I instantly enrolled for one of their courses.
Fast forward, I was back in the room with Neriyah, one of my teachers at the Center for Selforientation. We evaluated the session and the experience of the black void has stayed with me up till this day. That day I found inner peace, a silent place inside, I can always go to in the middle of any storm. The place that doesn’t judge me, but just is and wants me to be healthy, happy, and free.