What do you want?
I remember I was about 14 years old and my English teacher asked the class which of us cooked at home. I immediately raised my hand, or better my hand raised itself, before I even thought about raising my hand. I couldn’t boil an egg at that time, and had no clue why my hand raised itself. My English teacher didn’t understand why I raised my hand and I also didn’t know really. 4 years later in my last year of high school we had to do a test for what you want to do and best can do after high school. My mentor never shared the results with me, untill I asked him. He smiled and told me that according the test I could best go to a school for cooks to become a chef.
Of course this wasn’t an option, because this was before the time in which Jamie Oliver and other popular cooks made cooking popular. So back then becoming a cook wasn’t a real career choice for a smart and intelligent guy like me (which of course is nonsense). So I went on my path in life, finished university, became a strategy consultant, bought a house, and started a family, always with the feeling that something was missing in my life.
The thing I’ve struggled with was finding out what my purpose in life is. Especially when I got closer to the age of 40, I wanted to create a life that means more than just living, by which I mean just working, eating, sleeping, and going on holiday occasionally. I got stuck in my mind and soon discovered that you cannot figure this out in your mind, it has to come from a deeper place. This is why after my divorce I craved for ways to reconnect with my Self, with my inner power, and to start feeling again, because instinctively I knew that there lies the key to the things that feel right for me to do now, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year and in the next 10 years.
I want to live the life I was meant to live on this earth, live my Dharma so to say. I’ve always resonated with freedom, living a free life, but had no clue how to bring that into practice, untill I spoke with my Kabbalah teacher Yosef. He said, Bart you need to become a sharing person. Shift from living for yourself alone to living for the greater good. And this made so much sense to me, that I integrate this sense of becoming a sharing person in everything I do.